The First Cut is the Deepest

Today was one of the hardest days I have had to deal with. My friend tried to commit suicide and he called me after it happened. I was the first contact, so I went to his room and found him with blood on the floor and his arm wrapped a thousand times in toilet paper. My chest gets tight when I think about it again it's hard to let go of that image of him at his lowest. I thank God that he trusted me and could call me so I could save him. I pray that he gets the help he needs and accepts the resources I have set up for him because I can't imagine someone taking their life when they have so much to live for. I pray that he finds God in his life and that he learns that he can always go to Him for support as well as his friends. The first cut is the deepest, I will never forget what he and I went through today.

What have you done?

Fuck you.
I hate that you did that to me.
You disrespected me, humiliated me, and completely disregarded my morals and your own if you even had any to begin with.
It breaks my heart that you changed so much I don't even recognize you anymore.
I have deleted you from my life because after what you did I cannot stand to even think about you because it depresses me so much that I just want to lie down and not get up for a few months.
I thought you truly cared about me.
I guess I presume too much.
You said, "It was as easy as the wind with me and you."
Well guess what? It wasn't for me, for me it was as difficult as pulling a boulder up a mountain, always gasping for air and losing my footing, always looking around for a different path and failing.
How does it make you feel now that I didn't respond in the way you wanted?
I hope you find a sense of morality and a grasp on reality because the fantasy world that you were living in with me as your "soulmate" has burned to the ground and the ashes are burning my eyes.
Am I being dramatic?
No. You broke my heart but you cannot break my spirit because you never really loved me; you loved the version of me you created in your mind.
I hope I can forget you because right now I'm just devastated.